The title of this installment implies some degree of authority on the matter of raising sons and daughters. Let me say something right up front...I got NOTHING!!! No research, no scientific evidence, no Dr. Phil psycho babble...just an opinion and a few dozen years of hanging out with other moms who, as luck and nature would have it...also have opinions on the difference between parenting boys and parenting girls...
So here it is...boys are "easier". And why is that??? Because they are not emotional...Say again!? They don't "do" drama...If they have a problem, they work it out in the school yard and then they get over it. Yep...that is the opinion of the majority - boys are tough when they're little - climbing your best pieces of furniture like trees, and putting reptiles in the laundry hamper...but then, according to popular belief, these same little demons start sprouting wings and the balance of terror shifts to the female , where raging hormones take the heat for every sigh, shrug, cheeky comment and classic eye-roll!
OK - this is where I stomp my feet and throw my hissy in that typical female way!!!! No, really - the myth of the unemotional boy who throws a few punches and gets back to business is a crock! Boys hold grudges, boys play mind games, boys' feelings get every bit as bruised as their bodies! I believe that pressure from all of these "tough guy" myths is the only thing that separates boys from emotional outbursts. And while boys' stoicism may seem easier to manage on the surface, I'm sure that all of the pent up frustration that comes from NOT having your feelings heard makes for some really challenging silence. "What's the matter?" "Nothing"..."Are you upset?" "No" "What are you thinking about?" "Nothing"? Oh yeah - THAT's easy to deal with!
Call me crazy, but I find the outpouring of emotion, the 911 crisis, and the unnecessary drama way easier - because at the end of the day, you've also got the closure that comes with laying it all out there!
So here's my opinion in the sea of non-experts...Boys want to be notorious for their "simplicity"...They pride themselves on not being "deep" or complicated. They brag about settling arguments by popping someone in the nose...But I know that their ego is susceptible to bruises - and that they don't want to blow their tough guy image by getting all emotional...Does that make them easier to parent? Call me crazy, but I find it much easier to deal with what I can see than what I can't...and when it comes to girls - there's a transparency that's refreshing. There are no hidden emotions, no giant egos suppressing "uncool" feelings or reactions...In fact, the opposite is true: With girls, NO feeling is left out of the mix...And not only are the girls' emotions exposed...but so are their opinions about everyone else's! While all of this turmoil and yes, drama, seems like a huge hassle, it's really quite predictable. I wouldn't be surprised if every girl mom has figured out a formula for going from tragedy to comedy in five easy steps...
But I've yet to hear the formula for pulling an ounce of insight out of "nothing and I dunno"!
I've been blessed with a 4 to 1 ratio of boys to girls...and, as luck would have it - that's what I just read was the level of challenge of raising teenage girls to teenage boys. They say raising 1 girl through puberty is as difficult as raising 4 boys...hmmm, I'll have to see about that - but so far, I'm not buying it!
